My Secret

I took the job in Miles City; and Aliza, as usual, was already doing her thing, hustling for clients to consult with and networking in the business community at large. She had arranged to meet a particular gentleman who was to bring an additional, even more influential and powerful contact to introduce to Aliza, to discuss Internet strategy, public relations and media consulting opportunities. It was already dark outside by the time we settled into our hotel room for the night. The hotel room would be our home until we found a house to either rent or to purchase.

We were both tired and therefore a little cranky, and somehow got in a tiff over some paltry misunderstanding. The babysitter was scheduled to arrive soon so we had to put our differences aside, at least for the time being, so we could get ready. We’d decided to go out that first night just to relax and try to unwind from the stress of travel, and to soak up a bit of our new environment and hopefully our future home. It worked, temporarily at least. Though I took her hand in mine in a gesture of apology, the tension remained; and, unfortunately, the irritation soon turned into an argument again, and she pulled away from me, not wanting to make up.

I tried to reason but that didn’t work. I tried to apologize. That didn’t work either. I begged and pleaded, trying hard to make up; all to no avail. Finally, I decided to do something that I’d never done before. I would reveal a secret to her that was so private that no one on Earth but me knew about it. It was something that I had kept hidden from my childhood, and no one, not even my parents or best friends had ever found out. It was so private, and… so amazing, that when I thought about it, even I found it hard to believe or imagine. That’s why I did not think about it. I just did it when the spirit moved me.

“It just doesn’t matter in the big scheme of things!” I said in exasperation. I was shaking and breathing hard, subconsciously thinking about what I was about to reveal and wondering what kind of effect it would have on her. “It’s nothing. There are so many more important things in life to think or talk about.” My throat felt constricted and I heard my voice sounding higher and strained like the air slowly being squeezed out of a pinched balloon. “I can’t believe that we – anyone – wastes a moment of their breath arguing over such little things!”

All this did was serve to make her more angry. “It may not matter to you! But…”

At that, I turned and took three long strides toward her. When I reached her I grabbed her by the arm, thoroughly startling her, and pulled her roughly to me, nearly jerking her off the ground. Then I jammed my fist into the air and, together, we jetted into the sky with the force of a titan missile taking off, dragging her behind me in shocked silence and rigid with fright and awe.

I hollered into her ear, “Now this is important!” I chanced to glance at the top of her head but she was still staring down as the ground as it rapidly got farther and farther away. “This is something worth talking about. Everything else is just a pittally waste of time! Humanity is evolving to an entirely new level of consciousness. We can do things that people have only dreamed of doing in the past. Why do we waste time fighting about such stupid things!”

We raced higher and higher, toward the heavens, past the dark silhouettes of the giant cottonwoods that bounded the Yellowstone River that wound unhurriedly and sinuously through the badlands like a silvery serpent. The stars above us glittered like a million cut diamonds in a backdrop of pure obsidian. I was filled with the indescribable joy that I always feel when I fly; but this time it was even greater, having finally told someone my secret, having finally shared it with the one that I love more than any other. It felt as though the entire galaxy of stars joined me in reveling in my ecstasy. The entire history of the Universe, as ancient as it was, seemed to swirl through me in a matter of moments. And I was filled with all the hope and joy and sorrow of all humanity all at once.

Noa and I tagged along with Aliza the next morning because my work didn’t begin for several days and we didn’t really have anything else to do. We figured it would be a good opportunity for me to get to know some people outside my line of work, as well. I was happy to just go along and give Aliza moral support.

We talked quietly in the waiting room for the gentleman to arrive while Noa walked around the over-stuffed chairs and coffee table, pulling magazines off and tossing them to the floor. We acted as though nothing out of the ordinary had taken place the night before. Occasionally Noa stumbled and bounced on the gray-green Berber carpet. Out of habit, I followed behind her picking up after her and making sure she didn’t rip any of the covers off the magazines. Aliza seemed relaxed, watching us, and focused on her inner thoughts. This could be a big client and worth a lot of money. And what did it mean to her now that she knew my secret?

After a few minutes, a tall, slender, well-dressed and broad-shouldered man in his mid-forties brushed hurriedly past us. He went directly to one of the closed, heavy wooden office doors, unlocked the shiny brass knob and went inside. The scent of his aftershave lingered as he disappeared and then reappeared a second later without his briefcase. “You must be Ms. Sherman Risdahl?” Aliza nodded, “And this is my husband, Greg, and our daughter Noa Grace.”

“Pleased to meet you all. Come in. Please, come in. So-in-so should be here in a minute. Sorry to keep you waiting. Did you have to wait long? I was stuck in another meeting. Thanks for coming.” His words rushed out of him as though he’d just sprinted the 100-yard dash. The heavy redwood desk and matching bookcases and overall expensive tidiness of the office smelled of money, big business and politics. Nevertheless, the space was comfortable in an oddly familiar sort of way.

“Nice office,” I said as I chased after Noa, catching her just before she reached one of the low bookshelves and began clearing it of the photos, knick-knacks and awards in gilt frames.
“Thanks. Want some coffee or something?

“No thanks, we just had a Starbucks,” Aliza said sounding and looking very professional, and very beautiful, as usual. I was pleased to be a part of her world even though it wasn’t one that I had ever imagined in my earlier life. No matter how different our worlds were while growing up, we belonged together. To me, our connection seemed ancient, as though we had known each other in some significant way during a past life or lives.

While taking a moment to daydream and revel in the excitement of a new adventure together, another older gentleman with dark graying hair strode in. He was dressed more sophisticatedly, in a dark gray, almost black suit with light pin stripes and wore shiny black loafers. His mannerisms were equally sophisticated and his etiquette thoroughly rehearsed. “Good afternoon.” He held out his hand to Aliza to shake and then looked to me to do the same. Just then Noa toddled out of the office. I nodded a quick greeting to the fellow in return. I hoped to convey my pleasure at his acquaintance, but at the same time needed to make him understand that my first responsibility lay with my young, curious year and a half old daughter who was headed out the door.

I started after her.

He stepped in front of me; oddly, blocking my path. “She will be fine,” he said, “Thelma, the secretary, will keep an eye on her.”

What could I do with this bold authority figure unexpectedly standing in front of me, stopping me from pursing my baby girl? I paused and straightened. There was that hand again, waiting to be shaken. I shook it. “I’m pleased to meet you.” My eyes darted past him to make sure that Noa Grace was not in any danger.

“Please sit down.” He spread his hands indicating two chairs to Aliza and me. “We’re so pleased to have people with your skills in our community.” He obviously meant Aliza. Not me. I worked for the government, and was as much a hindrance to his profession as he was to mine.

Feeling as though I was given a temporary release from the conversation, my eyes searched for Noa again. It was then that I became aware of a strange sense of foreboding. It crept into my being as though we were canoeing down a swift river and all of a sudden I could hear a waterfall rapidly approaching. I looked around, but there was nowhere to beach the canoe even if we could paddle fast enough to reach the shore in the first place. Panic sliced though me and I leapt up to run after Noa before she got hurt.

It felt as though I was plodding through a giant vat of honey. I could hardly move either my arms or legs; nor could I recognize my own voice. I reached down and scooped Noa up then pivoted in slow motion to run back to save Aliza too. My voice sounded like a tape recording that had been slowed down to half the normal speed. “B-a-a-a-a-d-d p-e-e-e-o-o-p-l-l-e!
M-u-u-u-s-t-t g-e-e-e-t-t o-u-u-u-t!”

Somehow I managed to grab Aliza’s hand and pull her to her feet. The men rushed toward us their hands outstretched before them like twin Frankensteins. As painfully slow as our flight was, I managed to outdistance the monsters that pursued us. Outside the building, we somehow managed to break free of the tractor beam that held us paralyzed in its sinister grasp. With Noa was wrapped tightly in my right arm and Aliza clinging to my left side, we skyrocketed into the air, leaving the evildoers far below.